Thought Process
"We knew the girls were really women in disguise, that they understood love, and even death, and that our job was merely to create the noise that seemed to fascinate them." - The Virgin Suicides
about me
Denise Chang, Illegal eighteen, currently rocking and rolling around, trying to find my own identity. Loves Chelsea, Justin Timberlake and the finer things in life (; Formspring Twitter Tumblr Facebook
#49 Life in slow motion

"And if I weren't so young, or stupid, or restless, I might be able to just soon forget this."

25th May, 2010;
I was feeling pretty worn out from college since I had my laptop with me, making my bag plenty heavy. And plus, I was just feeling a little down from all the shit going on everywhere. A text from Haris made it better when he invited me out (;
Once I got into the car, I was pretty quiet, I think he thought I was mad. But once I started complaining, everything just came gushing out. I think I even teared a bit :O He was too good to just listen and not really say anything while I was being an utter bitch :')
Of course, we ended in Sunway Pyramid, and first thing we did was catch a movie. NightmareOnElmStreet (; It was reaaally good, but of course, never as good as the originals, hey. Freddy Krueger got me jumping in my seat, like no other boy can do ;p Haris claimed that I was going to punch him during one of the totally unexpected jumpy parts, I really wasn't. A line from the movie which I couldn't decide to either laugh or squirm at ; "Your mouth says yes but your body says no" - Freddy Krueger. A total must watch, I say (: Of spilling popcorns and deciding between closing my ears or eyes. Hehe.
And then of course, omnomnom, foooood. We took about an hour, at least, to decide. He even texted a friend to tell us where to eat. We then half walked to Subway, spotted a Penang-ish cafe/cuisine, walked in and both had nasi lemak instead ♥ So much for healthy eating.
And my favourite part of the day, where I cleaaaarly remembered that we parked on CP5, and Si Know-It-All here was saying that it was impossible. Something around the lines of "Definitely not CP5" (; Well of course, we ended looking at almost every floor, and some more than twice. So I go on to say, "Why don't we just take a look, no harm done, right?" Lo and behold, there sat the little gold Kelisa. Never doubt a woman, fosho. The driving home, hehe. My endless shouting directions and freaking outs. I find myself to be borderline useless when it comes to directions. Funny how I've been on the same route everyday, for almost my whole life, and yet can still forget which turn to take or lane to be in :/
But it was such a good day, although I stayed up till 2 to finish my draft. All good, I only had 4% plagarism (;
26th May, 2010;
A very different Wednesday, from all the Wednesdays I've had ♥
I skipped out on first period to complete my draft, and skipped lunch to finalize it (; Bought myself bubble tea and lollipops the kill the hunger pangs. And then the movie, The Sum of All Fears. Good movie, a lil too political for me, but still. Ben Affleck and Morgan Freeman, worth the two hours of ass-on-plastic chair ;p
I planned to take the shuttle bus to the Lakeside campus, but Lih Shyan got his friends, Alan and Ben to drive us there. From the moment Alan reversed out of the parking lot, I knew I was in for one helluva ride (;
When we arrived at Lakeside, I was definitely breathtaken. By so many things! The fact that they have such a beautiful 4 floor library, lecture theatres with awesome views of the lake, and the 20" Macs. Oh those Macs. And the yummy boys ;p A short text to Kelly saying "Lakeside is my new boyfriend, J- who? ;)"
Borrowed a book, and got back onto the rollercoaster. We couldn't decide where to go, and quoting Alan, "With every meter this car moves, you guys suggest a different place -.-" :D Finally, ended up in Sunway Pyramid, again. All we did was stare at the ice-skating rink, both Alan and I lusting for ice-skates. Didn't play pool, didn't watch a movie, didn't bowl and most definitely didn't ice-skate. Instead, we shared bubble tea. And then left for FTZ (;
We very obviously suck at L4D2, judging by the amount of times all four of us died, not even being able to be rescued by the 'rescue team'. Dang those Boomers :3
Finally left for home at about 7, and I assure you, I have never freaked out so much in one single car ride. Alan Nah, you are one scaaary driver. Between all the literal screaming, swearing and epic laughing, I had so much fun. I was better at the directions since I had practice yesterday (; But Mr. Genius here took a left turn when I clearly said U-turn, causing me to freak out all over again :'D
Thank you guys, for making my day twenty times over. Lih Shyan and Ben were obviously tired and couldn't take my screaming as I sat in front. hehe ♥

There's so much more to come, so much more planned. Sleepover at Hill's, 6 Efisyen reunion and LAN classes. hehe. Looks like life is turning round, isn't it? (;
Oh, and I wish I had pictures to go with these, if only I can find my charger :/

Currently listening to : Born To Make You Happy by Britney Spears

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#48 One mistake from being together

Hey hello,
I know I've kinda abandoned my blog a bit. It's just that, life's been so.. crazy yet boring at the same time.

The logic to that statement is well, pretty simple yet complicated. LOL WTF right.
I think I've gone bonkers.

College has been so busy! I've got so much tests, and assignments, I've never had so much work to do before.
But yet, I find myself on Facebook 3-4 hours a day, and don't even get me started on weekends. When it's Saturday or Sunday, I completely forget I even go to college :/

I feel lifeless. And yes, that is just expected of a SAM student. But but I feel like I've missed out on life before this so much that I just want to live now. I just want to be spontaneous and go out for a drive with friends, skip class and just well, live. But then I feel guilty when I do so cause of the work I have.

And oh my goodness, my horrendous results. You don't even want to know. 5 out of 40 for Chemistry, the lowest in class. I am so failing SAM. I need help la, fishcake. And Spec Maths. Holy cow, why was I even crazy enough to think that I could handle this? :(

I'm sort of broken. In a way. My heart is like, in so many pieces and just flying off in different directions that I don't even know what to think or feel anymore. It's confusing.

Part of me tells me to just forget about all this and just concentrate on SAM. But the other part. The other raging, screaming part that wants him to know I exist, so so badly. I hate how much he knows I linger around so he can say hey, or that my heart skips two, maybe three beats when I see him.

And my classmates. They don't like me. Well, not all of them (I hope.), but two of the five people I feel most comfortable with. Sometimes I figure that I can't be too loud, but I just can't help it. I'm always the misfit. I wish life wasn't such a dick.

Oh and I can't find my camera charger, fuck.

Currently listening to : Airplanes by B.O.B ft Hayley Williams

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#47 Oh the irony

bff ♥
 Ezrul's 18th, more pictures on FB.

Mum, Sam & I were in a minor accident. Yet I was shocked as hell, cried like a baby. I'm scared to drive now.

Currently listening to : I Wanna Love You cover by The Maine
#46 Baby when it rains, it pours.

Hey hello,

Well today was a really bad day that ironically started off pretty well. Okay, not really.
Halfway through my walk to the bus stop, I realised I forgot my Student ID. But hey, wasn't like I was planning to go anywhere that required my Student ID ain't it. Other than college, the library and the web. Pfft.
In class, I fell asleep in Chem and missed out on a whole hour of class.
Then the whole class had to skip lunch and walk all the way to a park in SS15 for our class photoshoot which by the way is due on Monday and I haven't even got round to it yet! (Y) We wanted to take a shortcut from the back of campus, but it ended up being closed so all 29 of us had to make a huge round back to the main entrance.
The sun was so hot but yet the park was wet from the rain last night. So of course, my dear Converse had to get all muddy. In the end, we all had to take pictures looking all sticky and sweaty. And plus, I so wore the wrong outfit and now I look fat (yeah, blame the outfit ;p)
Oh and guess what, on the way back, my glasses broke. I seriously do not know how or why, but it just did. I thought it felt kinda funny so I touched it and next thing you knew, one side of the frame had fallen off. So much for a RM400+ pair of glasses with a lousy glue job.
Then I had my Maths class test, which took up 10% of my internal assesment with broken glasses. I managed just fine, till it started raining. Yeah, in class. Something somewhere was leaking and I had to be the lucky one to sit under it. FML.
So being all moody and crappy, I was kinda quiet in Spec Maths class, just waiting for the day to end, and my lecturer came up to me and said, "Denise, you need to catch up. Come and see me for counselling." Oh great, just fucking great, now I need counselling.
And the best part of all, I finally spoke to the cutie on the bus and first thing he said was, "What happened to your glasses?!" You have got to be kidding me.

So yeah, I believe bad days make you stronger. I endured all kinds of shit on the supposedly shortest day of the week. But mummy came, picked me up, took me to get my glasses changed and of course, big fat hug for the bad day. Hehe.

Some pictures of the class photoshoot, and no shit, I seriously look huuuuge :O
But oh well. The rest of the pictures are on Facebook, here.

Love my Mfourians (; Mfourthewin, hehe see what I just did there? ;p

Currently listening to : Airplanes ft Hayley Williams & Eminem by B.o.B

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#45 Little Miss Sunshine

Hey hello,

College has been really good, except for the fact that I've been working my ass out trying to meet deadlines, which by the way I am totally failing at. I still have my last 2 hours of driving class, yet to be completed, which kills me coz I really want my license :/

Anyway, just a few random things from college,

Freddy Kruger was hiding behind telephone posts, scaring the beezwacks out of people. Poor Philip (;

Someone posted this up on a bulletin board in campus. I was going to look away after the first few lines, but kept reading anyway. It sort of inspired me, although for me, life has always been about living each day to the fullest, and I'm glad someone decided to spread the word ;)

If you are reading this, then this then this (I noticed that :p) warning is for you.
Every word you read of this useless fine print is another second off your life.

Don't you have other things to do?
Is your life so empty that you can't think of a better way to spend these moments?
Or are you so impressed with authority that you give respect and credence to all who claim it?
Do you everything you're supposed to read?
Do you think everything you're supposed think?
Buy what you're told to want?
Get out of your apartment. Meet a member of the opposite sex.
Stop the excessive shopping and masturbation.
Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you're alive.
If you don't claim your humanity, you will become a statistic.
You have been warned.

End note : WORD! This is a win.

I couldn't agree more ;)

Anyway, I haven't been watching American Idol for ages! Lee Dewyze is love :D
Oh, and the new is awesome. Just look at my new layout, inspired by Elaine's (;
I have to get started on my research paper draft, so this is it for now. Bye!

Currently listening to : Alejandro by Lady Gaga


#44 Ich Liebe Dich

Hey hello!

I know I'm updating kinda late about this, since I didn't have internet over the weekend, but let me just say this :

Bill Kaulitz is the sexiest thing eeeever!

Oh mai gad, it was totally worth the wait, and plus they played club music while we waited so it wasn't so bad.
I only have to complain about a few things. Well firstly, I paid RM50 each for 2 tickets, couldn't find someone to buy the extra one from me, and seeing how I didn't want my sister to go in the first place, I wasn't going to give it to her just like that. So on the day itself, I decided I'll just sell it to her for RM30, which is the same price as the album, mind you, instead of RM50. I was there early and definitely wanted Tokio Hotel's autographs, so I went and bought myself their album for RM30, FOR MYSELF.
After lining up and all, I got it signed. I said 'I Love You' to Bill Kaulitz and he smiled at me, causing me to just die on the spot, and I managed to say 'Hi' to Tom and him saying 'Hi' back, before I started going OMG OMG OMG and hyperventilating. Heck, I even cried when I got off the stage. They are so hot, I tell you.

When they left, obviously I was part of the fangirl crowd that mobbed them, snapping pictures, shouting and grabbing at them. I managed to get a few pictures and even freaking touched Tom! Hell yeah, be jealous beetches! :D

The second thing is that the security at the concert was shit, and everyone ran in without using their ticket! And there I was half an hour before, standing at the entrance of OU going, 'Tokio Hotel tickets! Get your Tokio Hotel tickets here!" Like pshhffttt. So that really just means I paid RM130 for my damn ticket when everyone else got it for free lah? Fuck that man, seriously.

Anyway, before the concert, I had lunch with Manj, a few of her friends + a couple we met while lining up for the signing (: Played some pool and then I left to meet up with Mel and Ikin. At about 5.30, I met up with dad to pass him some stuff including my DSLR coz I didn't want to bring it around in the concert. I half regret and half don't coz I didn't get any good pictures of Bill perfoming in all this sexyness but then I couldn't have moved around as much as I did, plus all the pushing and jumping, nuh uh.

All in all, it was a good, but expensive night. Next time I'm going for a concert, no more rushing into buying a ticket. Lesson learnt.
Oh, and I asked a girl for her email coz I saw that she had some pretty rad pictures of Bill and Tom performing, but I can't seem to get hold of her for now. So yeah (:

Currently listening to : Noise by Tokio Hotel

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